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DJ Carroll
03-13-2009, 05:59 PM
Guys I have a problem my girl friend has brought it to my attention that I'm not the same as i use to be and that I seem selfish. She says that it seems all i worry about any more is financial stuff and business . . She doesn't understand that right now is the most critical time for my business that means 9 and 10 hour work days . . . she thinks if she comes over a 2 pm and wants me to just ride to the bank with her im supposed to ??? I don't know what to tell her guys . . I need some help here?

It's like no matter what i do i can't make her happy . . . I NEED HELP BIG TIME !!!!!

Ken Fenner
03-13-2009, 06:01 PM
As you grow older you will learn balance.. or then again.. probably not.

Florin Nutu
03-13-2009, 06:09 PM
Guys I have a problem my girl friend has brought it to my attention that I'm not the same as i use to be and that I seem selfish. She says that it seems all i worry about any more is financial stuff and business . . She doesn't understand that right now is the most critical time for my business that means 9 and 10 hour work days . . . she thinks if she comes over a 2 pm and wants me to just ride to the bank with her im supposed to ??? I don't know what to tell her guys . . I need some help here?

It's like no matter what i do i can't make her happy . . . I NEED HELP BIG TIME !!!!!


Im not telling you what you should do but here is what I did. I divorced my at the time wife for some of those reasons.. My fiance now, Amy, she is the one that pushes me out the door most of the time to build the biz.

plainpainter
03-13-2009, 06:24 PM
You're 21 D.J. - this is a no-brainer - you take yourself way too seriously. The way your off from the starting gate, you'll be a millionaire by the time you are 25.

I'll tell you what {and please no private pm's detailing how you will twist my head off}
I'll give you my tandem axle 7x12 trailer - the astrovan with the 7 -prong wiring and brake controller equipped to tow it. I'll give you the 13hp honda direct drive machine that's on it and the 5.5gpm pressure pro machine along with hose reels and buffer tank. I'll throw in the extend-awand and all the miscellaneous hardware. And then to boot - I'll throw in a 20ft louisville type 1 ladder, a 24 ft werner type 1A ladder, 2 28ft type 1A lynn ladders, a 40 foot louisville type 1A ladder, and a werver 48 foot type 1A ladder. Not to mention the pump jacks, the aluminum werner taskmaster planks, the broncos.

D.J. - I'll give you everything in my business, it's all yours - lock stock and barrel. In return I'll take that cute little strawberry blonde girl you are complaining about off your hands - we have a deal?

Just think D.J. - that's enough equipment to get another 'crew' busy doing work - enough ladders to keep a bunch of guys doing gutter cleanings and roof washings all day long - translation $$$$$$$$$. I'll take the girl in exchange.

Ken Fenner
03-13-2009, 06:51 PM
Dan, you gonna open up your own White Tiger?

Henry Bockman
03-13-2009, 06:58 PM
I heard a comedian say one time. No matter how fine looking, how much fun she is in and out of bed, there's always some other guy out there that's sick and tired of her complaining!

Finding a balance between running a company and living a life is a fine balancing act. I wish you luck DJ, I still haven't been able to find that balance! I'm working on it though!

topcoat
03-13-2009, 07:08 PM
You're 21 D.J. - this is a no-brainer - you take yourself way too seriously. The way your off from the starting gate, you'll be a millionaire by the time you are 25.

Dan

I dont know if you have done much hiring lately, but its hard to find a 20-28 year old person in the trades with an ounce of ambition. I would not discourage this. And I probably wouldnt be so condescending to DJ. I know you consider yourself an elder statesman of the trades. Your knowledge and presence on the boards is impressive, and your list of equipment is topnotch, seems you are coming up a bit short in accomplishment and projecting it on DJ.

Jim Chesmore
03-13-2009, 07:09 PM
WOW, take Dans offer but make sure you get the stuff before she meets him...

DJ - Life is too short to spend it with someone that causes you pain. TRUST ME on this... If you focus on your work, sooner or later the right woman will come your way and she will understand and support you

topcoat
03-13-2009, 07:15 PM
Its smart to build the business now, before you get married, have the kids, dog, house etc...all the encumbrances.

plainpainter
03-13-2009, 07:18 PM
Dan

Your knowledge and presence on the boards is impressive, and your list of equipment is topnotch, seems you are coming up a bit short in accomplishment and projecting it on DJ.

Scott - I am at a point in my life where I don't really care that much anymore. I am just happy I am in good health - folks are in good health - sister, nephews and niece.

As for projecting onto DJ - I'll project everything I own onto him - and he can put it to better use - I'll take the little honey bunny. Hopefully she likes a little of this....:got-hooligan:

Eric Flynn
03-13-2009, 07:25 PM
Ok, this is the point where I would normally say 'give the girl a chance'....
BUT

I am a business woman and this is your business we are talking about.
DJ- you are way to intelligent....
It does not seem like your girlfriend shares your same entrepreneurial drive. Have you tried to involve her in the business? Maybe let her do some marketing for you? Does she even know how hard you work or does she just stuck on the fact that you are not home right when she wants you to be?

I am not going to give you the whole spill about her being way to young because I was there once, and I hated when people told us that. Eric was 22 when we got married and I was 19.
Do I think we made a mistake? Absolutely not but I made DAMN sure that we felt the same way about many different things in life including business before we took the plunge.

What I am saying is that if your girlfriend cannot support you in your business endeavors then its time to move on.

You asked for advice, so we are giving it to you but I think you already know what you need to do :)

~Jen

Mathew Johnson
03-13-2009, 07:33 PM
DJ,

I wish you luck with this. It is a crappy position to be in no doubt. I wish I had advice to give you, but when it comes to advice on stuff like this, I am no "Doctor Ruth - AKA Plainpainter". Good luck Bro.

Dan.... ' I will trade you my blond (yellow) lab for your equipment... She is a cutie". Wait a minute, my wife just read what I wrote.... cancel that offer.

CWheeler
03-13-2009, 07:44 PM
Dj I'm not sure if you see yourself having a future with her or not, if you do she needs to share your vision with you. If she doesn't now she probably won't in the future. Like suggested before try get her involved in what you are doing so she has an idea of what it is you are dealing with. Try and set some time aside to talk to her about what your doing. Also your are still young don't stress on the little things you only live once, everything will work itself out in the end.

plainpainter
03-13-2009, 08:13 PM
DJ - there are tons of fish in the sea. You're gonna have another 32 girlfriends before you ever tie the knot. Get over yourself - plug away with your business - if she doesn't like it - look forward to the next little hottie coming down the pike. BTW - be sure to send her my way.

Jeff LeCours
03-13-2009, 08:35 PM
Dj I'm not sure if you see yourself having a future with her or not, if you do she needs to share your vision with you. If she doesn't now she probably won't in the future. Like suggested before try get her involved in what you are doing so she has an idea of what it is you are dealing with. Try and set some time aside to talk to her about what your doing. Also your are still young don't stress on the little things you only live once, everything will work itself out in the end.


I pretty much agree with the above


Do you like her or love her? If you really want her to be part of your life, you explain and explain and explain. I would just explain to her 2, 3, 4 maybe 5 times about what you want in life in a biz and thats its very important to you that you build this biz while you are young so that later in life you can have everything you want for you and your family that you will build with the right women

If she's just the puppy love stuff and you think you probably wont be with her in 6 months to 2 years just tell her your plans and if she's ok with it, if not oh well, you will break up

I usually would say slow down and smell the roses and give her a little more time, but I cant say that. Man how I wish I was your age starting my biz
I met my wife in 2000, she was 21, I was 39, we dated and in a couple years we were married, but I already saw by that time my biz growing. I was worried because of her age shemight want all that QUALITY TIME but I also knew my biz needed that quality time too LOL. I was very honest from the beginning with her. that the BIZ will need to grow and I knew I could grow it. I lso told her, she cant be ****ing and moaning about what I do for the biz, time spent building it. I mapped out to her, long days and tired nights probably, time away from her and even when we had kids, time away from the kids. I also used my older age and I told her, I have to make and grow this biz so we can have what we need and want in life

I then asked her is she in or out. These conversations were brought up by me often, because I wanted her to know how serious business is and whats involved SACRIFICE. I tell you how I mapped it out to Lisa, because if you honestly explain what you want and need to do, to be a success in biz and with her she will either understand or not. If she doesnt or says she does and just goes back to complaining, its time to move on

Heck DJ you are young love em and leave em until you find the right one, it took me 40 years to find the right one..part of that was because I was a darn mad man for years. If she's right you two will work it out if not you'll be playing in another sand box in no time

Good luck

Don M.
03-13-2009, 09:13 PM
So I guess the House Cleaning biz is off? Dahm it:got-hooligan:

James Foley
03-13-2009, 10:08 PM
DJ, at 21 I was juggling 3 different relationships ( good multi tasker) and living with 3 other guy's in a party house.

Terry Miller
03-13-2009, 10:21 PM
DJ,
I probably don't see the same as some here, but here it is anyway.
Women are one of the most important parts of our lives. They can make or break us. We are whimps when it comes to faceing that fact. Of course some will say I rule the nest and the women is mine to do with as I please. Don't believe it. When the divorce comes through we pay, children or not. They can make your business the very best or worst. The pressure they will put on you determins how you will succeed. If they want success you will get it. If not, no matter how much you try, you will not succeed. Therefore: Find the right women to be part of your life, that has the same goals you have. Keep looking for the right one. They will all say they want your business to grow, and will make you believe it. If they were only saying that to apease you, you will soon find this out. At your age, I would also agree as others have said, you may be trying too hard. You may be a millionair at 30, or dead from trying. Is it worth it? I couldn't tell you, only you will figure this out. I believe having $ and being wealthy is not the answer to life. I personally would rather have a great family life then tons of $. Ask the folks who worked all their life and put their $ in the stock market! They might have something to tell you. They have very little to show for what they have done. Ask Mr. Madoff if he cares about the millions of people he hurt. My point is money goes away. Kind of like the 85 yr. old, 9 richest person in the world. He just commited suicide because he lost half of his money. It made him the 15th richest person in the world! Family is forever. Maybe if your girlfriend is not happy with you, find someone who is. Keep in mind, the people who are in your life are more important then anything you will ever accomplish. If you don't feel this way, I'd stay single, work as hard as you can and become wealthy. Put your $ into something that will make you Happy. Good Luck, My 2 cents. Thank you.

DJ Carroll
03-14-2009, 12:04 AM
To the ones that have made intelligent comments THANK YOU they truly do help!

And Jenn thank you personally I was hopping you would give me a female out look on this!

Erica and I have dated on and off since my Jr. year I truly do love her and we have talked a lot about being together in the future. She has helped me several time in my business; such as riding with me thru those cold nights plowing snow and also helping me stuff envelopes. I talked with her tonight and she said that she felt like she was 2nd to my business and all i'm ever worried about is money and how my business is doing. I apologized and explained that I am an entrepreneur and that this is not just a job it is a pasion of mine. She explained that she understood that but when it involves me working past 6 or 7 o clock at night and taking time away from here then it isn't going to work. Another big problem is she is a waitress and has no real responsibilities. She stays out to 2 3 4 sometimes 5 oclock in the morning hanging out and partying with her friends. I can't fault her for that she is 20. And i never say a thing to her about it but she in turn wants to through it in my face that i never want to hang out and party with her. I told her Monday thru Friday is my companies time if it would help for me to only work from 6 to 5 then i can do that but in those hours monday thru friday my company is priority number one . . . WOW BUDDY WRONG THING TO SAY!!!!! "see your business is number one on your list" I tried to explain to her that it is CRUTIAL for me to bust my A$$ right now so that when I'm 30 years old I will be pretty much set and we can go on cruzes or trips or what ever and spend as much time as she wants. . . She said i don't care how much money you make and she said I understand you want to be successfull and you know i support you but I need more from you I feel that I give you all of me and I only get 1/3 in return . . . I said well baby I devote alot of my time for my business. . .WRONG AGAIN!!!! she blew up and i said i was sorry and would fix things . . . we had a VERY quiet dinner and now im on my way to bed at my house ALONE . lol . . . I dunno what to do I think I'm just going to play it by ear . . .It also doesn't help that she has ALL of her guy and girl friends telling her i'm selfish because all i care about is my business . . .SOOOO SOORRRRYY I DON'T GO THRU 4 CASES A BEER A WEEK AND PARTY EVERY NIGHT!!!!


Maybe i am to hard on my self but I WANT TO BE SUCCESSFULL . .. I guess im just scared i'm going to take away from my business for a girl that may possible not be there for me in the end and I don't want to miss out being successful for some girl . . . The same girl that I passed up going to play College Football for!!!!

I dunno I'm gonna have to sleep on this one!!!! Thanks for the help guys

Scott Davis
03-14-2009, 12:20 AM
If you dont absolutely know you want to spend the rest of your life with her, it wouldnt be worth giving up the business. If you do believe that you want to spend the rest of your life with her, no amount of money would be worth losing her. If Celeste told me right now that I had an ultimatum, her or the business, Id be on the next plane home and the business would be dissolved within hours.

The difference is she is running the business now, while im in Iraq. Talk about dedication. She wants what I want, and we have a great life/relationship because of it. Dont let anybody change you.

Now, there have to be concessions. It cant be my way or the highway. You do have to realize that that she has needs and wants also, and maybe take that trip to the bank with her sometimes, just work a longer day. Suprise her with a trip somewhere, but make it known the only reason you could afford the trip and take the time off is because you are self employed and work hard.

If she absolutely says, me or the business, Id have to say take the business. If you were sure you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her you wouldnt have posted this.

Michael Tessaro
03-14-2009, 01:18 AM
DJ, Wow, you are goal oriented and driven for a guy who is just 21. Whats the difference if you were in college full time? You have chosen a different road. IMO, your girl friend is being 20, she is immature and selfish. Its not a fault. Its that you two are in two different worlds. Juggling your responsibilities to your business and relationship are difficult. Try to have a heart to heart with her and ask for her support. See if she shares your same goals and aspirations? I think you already did that after re reading your post.

Relationships, especially with someone you Love or care about greatly are not easy and there is no easy answer. This summer I will be married to the same women for 34 years. Not all good and not all bad. But you absolutely need someone as a mate who will support you and is willing to go with you and along side you. This mutual respect works both ways also. Right now you are going thru the process of choosing a mate. Sounds weird but thats what you are doing in your relationship. She may or may not be the one. You have to decide that.

Someone told me once. "You never regret trying and failing, you regret not trying" . That's just for what its worth.

I wish you success.

Jeff LeCours
03-14-2009, 06:36 AM
You dump her yet DJ?

She is a good looking girl, would she be opposed to booty calls :biggrin:LOL Just kidding:rolleyes:

DJ Carroll
03-14-2009, 07:15 AM
DJ, Wow, you are goal oriented and driven for a guy who is just 21. Whats the difference if you were in college full time? You have chosen a different road. IMO, your girl friend is being 20, she is immature and selfish. Its not a fault. Its that you two are in two different worlds. Juggling your responsibilities to your business and relationship are difficult. Try to have a heart to heart with her and ask for her support. See if she shares your same goals and aspirations? I think you already did that after re reading your post.

Relationships, especially with someone you Love or care about greatly are not easy and there is no easy answer. This summer I will be married to the same women for 34 years. Not all good and not all bad. But you absolutely need someone as a mate who will support you and is willing to go with you and along side you. This mutual respect works both ways also. Right now you are going thru the process of choosing a mate. Sounds weird but thats what you are doing in your relationship. She may or may not be the one. You have to decide that.

Someone told me once. "You never regret trying and failing, you regret not trying" . That's just for what its worth.

I wish you success.

I do go to school full time along with taking sales classes on top of that . . . I truly am a busy person . . . But I love her and I think I can work this out!!!! Thanks for all the help guys and Jenn haha . . . and no Jeff you can't have her she is mine and as far as Dan is concerned she has read his post and I prolly couldn't even pay her to go with him . . . 2 points DJ :cool:

Matt Bryan
03-14-2009, 08:24 AM
This girl loves you without the money. In 5 or 10 years the next girl is only going to know the DJ that is flush with cash. Don't think for one second that it doesn't make a difference.

Eric Flynn
03-14-2009, 08:29 AM
And Jenn thank you personally I was hopping you would give me a female out look on this!



You're welcome hun. I hope you get everything worked out.

Hey bring Erica to the Georgia RT and let me and Stacie Spence talk to her :)

~Jen

DJ Carroll
03-14-2009, 09:05 AM
You're welcome hun. I hope you get everything worked out.

Hey bring Erica to the Georgia RT and let me and Stacie Spence talk to her :)

~Jen


Now that sounds like a good idea

DJ Carroll
03-14-2009, 09:07 AM
This girl loves you without the money. In 5 or 10 years the next girl is only going to know the DJ that is flush with cash. Don't think for one second that it doesn't make a difference.

Matt you just opened my eyes bro thank you

Jeff LeCours
03-14-2009, 09:08 AM
I do go to school full time along with taking sales classes on top of that . . . I truly am a busy person . . . But I love her and I think I can work this out!!!! Thanks for all the help guys and Jenn haha . . . and no Jeff you can't have her she is mine and as far as Dan is concerned she has read his post and I prolly couldn't even pay her to go with him . . . 2 points DJ :cool:

Nah I love my Lisa way to much! But Lisa is getting a little old, I told her I might have to turn her in for a newer model LOL:headshakesmile-fast

If you love her and you know for sure she loves you, work on it brother. Only time will tell if its a perfect match.

DJ's in love and i always thought you were a sl*t LOL....Loves a good thing

plainpainter
03-14-2009, 10:42 AM
I didn't realize this chicks name is Erica, LOL!

D.J. - words of warning, all women whose first name begins with the letter 'E' is Trouble! Erica, Emily, Eliza, Ella, Ellen, Eileen - they're all the same, they'll chew you up and spit you out. You already were a dunce and gave up college ball for her - what idiot does that? Hopefully deep down it's a decision you made for yourself and you are just projecting that decision onto her.

Ok - so you don't think my comments were 'intelligent' - ok here is some commentary perhaps you can stew over. When I was 35 and dating this 29 yr. old woman - she was just turning 30 - had her Masters in Education and was a teacher in a middle school that just got her salary bumped to 55k. She worked with these under privleged kids - doing after school activities with them - ran youth centers. By any definition of the word, responsible, this woman fulfilled it in every way.

Yet when I was dating her - I soon realized she loved going to her friends all the time - and the boozing never ended. It was always partying on the weekends and going to bars all the time - I couldn't keep up. And I got into the same exact fights that you pretty much detailed. And on the other side of the coin - this chick because she didn't see me 'work' during the winter months, although I was working on my marketing and website night and day, wanted me to take on 1 and 2 part time jobs until the season started back up.

She couldn't understand the nature of what running a business meant. To her running a business was 9 to 5 and that's it. She couldn't wrap her mind around that me working on Accel databases during the winter months and doing illustrations for logos was useful in any way. All she wanted me to do was make alot of money. And don't even bring up 'gross' profits vs. salary. I have never met a woman that could understand why my gross profits wasn't my salary - nor did they understand in investing for future gains. Business makes absolutely no sense.

The deal is D.J. - these guys will tell you that your girlfriend is immature and that's because of her age. The fact is - I would be willing to bet 80% of the women out there, unless they are business women themselves - will never understand what you do, no matter what age they are. I thought I snagged a professional woman - and realized after a while what she did was 'important' - but obviously nothing I did was.
Most women I meet are't willing to understand anyone that doesn't do anything other than a regular 40 hour work week - and be prepared to be grossing 150k salary as well!

Just to go to lay it on the line, D.J. - tell her the way it is, and be prepared to get dumped. You go to school, you work on your business, so you don't have to be confined to a limiting desk job. And just realize that ain't cool with most chicks - you'll eventually find one that is cool with it. Or you'll eventually be making tons of money - and have operational managers - 36 years old - and you got some 21 yr. old honey that you are sugar daddy'ing.

I've met very few women that were supportive of their husbands business. And what's funnier - I know a lot of women who have their own business, and weren't supportive of their husbands when they wanted a business!

Michael Tessaro
03-14-2009, 01:19 PM
Nah I love my Lisa way to much! But Lisa is getting a little old, I told her I might have to turn her in for a newer model LOL:headshakesmile-fast


Dangerous ground here. Trading in a 40 for 2 20's. We all know you aren't wired for 220. :eek:

Scott Millen
03-14-2009, 02:24 PM
DJ, Matt is on the right track.

As a young man, I was always working and hustling for bucks. At the same time I was traveling and doing work that was more of a service to my fellow man kind of thing. I wasn't around my town a lot, and I was constantly in a state of poor repair, but I was always flush, so I had a lot of girlfriends. Most of the time one I considered my girlfriend, and others i just considered.

It was a good time, and I can't take it back, nor would I.

Then I turned around and I was 33 and single, and scarred, and sick and tired, but mostly bored. I smoked 3 to 4 packs of Marlboros and Camels a day, I was sick of the women I was meeting, and the ones I knew well...
Well they weren't going to make the same mistake twice, or three times anyway. Definately not four times...

The upshot was that when the times got rough, I had friends, but the good women were long gone, married or just smarter than that.

I was blessed by a lightning-bolt of good luck after a run of bad decisions, and met Tricia, now my wife. I thank God for her, but have to admit, I would not have sought her out in my youth. She is indispensible in my life, and in my business.

The point here is that if you really know you want to stay with this girl, and have a family, you have to commit in the same way you have to your business.

Why?

Because a marriage and a family, is a business. Romance is an important part, but more important is knowing you have made a good choice for the partner you have gone into business with.

If you don't think that is something you can handle with this girl, don't fool either of you: You need to move on so you don't waste your time together.

Only two things can happen: 1. You spend the rest of your lives together. 2. You don't.

You need to decide what you want, and then take the required steps to secure it. It is business.

Just my opinion, DJ. You'll figure it out.

Ron Musgraves
03-14-2009, 07:42 PM
You're 21 D.J. - this is a no-brainer - you take yourself way too seriously. The way your off from the starting gate, you'll be a millionaire by the time you are 25.

I'll tell you what {and please no private pm's detailing how you will twist my head off}
I'll give you my tandem axle 7x12 trailer - the astrovan with the 7 -prong wiring and brake controller equipped to tow it. I'll give you the 13hp honda direct drive machine that's on it and the 5.5gpm pressure pro machine along with hose reels and buffer tank. I'll throw in the extend-awand and all the miscellaneous hardware. And then to boot - I'll throw in a 20ft louisville type 1 ladder, a 24 ft werner type 1A ladder, 2 28ft type 1A lynn ladders, a 40 foot louisville type 1A ladder, and a werver 48 foot type 1A ladder. Not to mention the pump jacks, the aluminum werner taskmaster planks, the broncos.

D.J. - I'll give you everything in my business, it's all yours - lock stock and barrel. In return I'll take that cute little strawberry blonde girl you are complaining about off your hands - we have a deal?

Just think D.J. - that's enough equipment to get another 'crew' busy doing work - enough ladders to keep a bunch of guys doing gutter cleanings and roof washings all day long - translation $$$$$$$$$. I'll take the girl in exchange.


I would say if he's not wanting to spend time with her I would take this offer.

I pick the wife over business anytime. Always!!!!!!!

I'm not given anyone the biz, I'll keep both and put her ahead of the BIz everytime.

Chris Tharpe
03-15-2009, 01:42 AM
DJ, this is something that will take alot out of you. My wife and I have been married for just over a year now. I have spent the last 3 months working nights and she is working days. From sunday night to friday evening I see her when either when she is getting home from work and the gym for about 5 minutes before heading out to work or for about 10 minutes before she leaves and I hit the sack. The commercial side of this business can truly be a test to any relationship especially when one side is upset with the priorities in your life.

Take your time with her and decide what YOU want. Take a day and just think about it, do you really want to spend the rest of your life with her?

I wasted 6 years of my life with one and met my wife about a year after her. At that instant I knew we would be good partners and make a great team. Relationships are just like business and take alot of time and devotion for success. If you devote too little time then things start to go crazy and if you devote all of your time you get sick of being around it. The point is look at your relationship with her and really think long and hard about weather you want to spend the rest of your life with this being a problem or can you 2 overcome this and be stronger after it. Another option is to incorporate her into your business and see if she can aid in generating more income while still making enough weekly to cover the extra salary. This could be a great way to see how well you two can work side by side and also to test the relationship.

All in all good luck with this one and you are the only one that gets to decide the fate of this. Remember that what your Momma says generally turns out to be true especially in relationships. So if you really need the truth talk to her and get her honest opinion about the girl and the relationship. I wish I would have only herd what people truly thought before I met my wife. I would have not wasted all 6 years

Roger Gothorp
03-15-2009, 05:42 AM
Ok, this is the point where I would normally say 'give the girl a chance'....
BUT

I am a business woman and this is your business we are talking about.
DJ- you are way to intelligent....
It does not seem like your girlfriend shares your same entrepreneurial drive. Have you tried to involve her in the business? Maybe let her do some marketing for you? Does she even know how hard you work or does she just stuck on the fact that you are not home right when she wants you to be?

I am not going to give you the whole spill about her being way to young because I was there once, and I hated when people told us that. Eric was 22 when we got married and I was 19.
Do I think we made a mistake? Absolutely not but I made DAMN sure that we felt the same way about many different things in life including business before we took the plunge.

What I am saying is that if your girlfriend cannot support you in your business endeavors then its time to move on.

You asked for advice, so we are giving it to you but I think you already know what you need to do :)

~Jen

+1

Tell her if she can't be supportive of the business, then she's part of a problem you don't need. Unless of course, she comes with lots of money and you're happy being a boy-toy.

Scott Davis
03-15-2009, 05:47 AM
+1

Tell her if she can't be supportive of the business, then she's part of a problem you don't need. Unless of course, she comes with lots of money and you're happy being a boy-toy.

:iagree: :Smiley-2035:

Karvonens Pro Clean
03-15-2009, 06:52 PM
+1

Tell her if she can't be supportive of the business, then she's part of a problem you don't need. Unless of course, she comes with lots of money and you're happy being a boy-toy.


Part of a problem or making problems?Either way it isn't good.

Jfife
03-15-2009, 08:24 PM
Tough deal Scrappy. I may not be the most experienced poon handler in the world, but I'll give you a thought or two.

1) Life is all consequences; any decision you make will likely have good AND bad consequences.....you weigh them to make a decision.

2) For finances and peace of mind, you'd be well served to not get married until you are 30 or so. And the difference in maturity between 23 and 30 is vast.

3) The consequence is, 95% of the prime tail will be taken by then...maybe more. The ones left will have one or more of these pieces of baggage: a) divorced, b) kid(s), c) financial problems, d) psycosis.

4) So you: a) search hard, b) marry much younger, c) support overseas arrangements. Again, any decision will have consequences.

5) If this isn't appealing, then you need to settle for the typical southern/mid-U.S. timetable and get married by the time you are 23, 24, 25. Again, consequences will be a young selfish wife and no money. At this age, chance of marrying a really nice, decent girl that isn't controlling, etc. is probably 1 in 3, maybe even 1 in 5. I come by those statistics by thinking of how many of my married friends I am envious of. Very, very few. But you should be able to marry hot.


Being as straight-up as possible, those are your choices. Lastly, let me say this: if this broad is a really, really good catch---you'll have outside sources telling your this. And no, not old perverts like me or Kreisle. Guys your age will say, "dang scrappy, you are lucky. She is nice, not obnoxious, patient, etc......I wish I was going to marry her." If your friends aren't telling you that she'd be an awesome wife----that means they DON'T THINK she'd be an awesome wife. Same goes for your mom AND your dad. Your dad has probably been pestered and nagged for nearly 30 years; he'll have a keen eye and unique insight into this sort of thing.

Scott Davis
03-16-2009, 12:06 AM
Tough deal Scrappy. I may not be the most experienced poon handler in the world, but I'll give you a thought or two.

1) Life is all consequences; any decision you make will likely have good AND bad consequences.....you weigh them to make a decision.

2) For finances and peace of mind, you'd be well served to not get married until you are 30 or so. And the difference in maturity between 23 and 30 is vast.

3) The consequence is, 95% of the prime tail will be taken by then...maybe more. The ones left will have one or more of these pieces of baggage: a) divorced, b) kid(s), c) financial problems, d) psycosis.

4) So you: a) search hard, b) marry much younger, c) support overseas arrangements. Again, any decision will have consequences.

5) If this isn't appealing, then you need to settle for the typical southern/mid-U.S. timetable and get married by the time you are 23, 24, 25. Again, consequences will be a young selfish wife and no money. At this age, chance of marrying a really nice, decent girl that isn't controlling, etc. is probably 1 in 3, maybe even 1 in 5. I come by those statistics by thinking of how many of my married friends I am envious of. Very, very few. But you should be able to marry hot.


Being as straight-up as possible, those are your choices. Lastly, let me say this: if this broad is a really, really good catch---you'll have outside sources telling your this. And no, not old perverts like me or Kreisle. Guys your age will say, "dang scrappy, you are lucky. She is nice, not obnoxious, patient, etc......I wish I was going to marry her." If your friends aren't telling you that she'd be an awesome wife----that means they DON'T THINK she'd be an awesome wife. Same goes for your mom AND your dad. Your dad has probably been pestered and nagged for nearly 30 years; he'll have a keen eye and unique insight into this sort of thing.

I got to give it to you Jon, that was the most entertaining answer so far!

Guy Blackmon
03-16-2009, 01:08 AM
DJ, I have always thought of you as a bright and smart Business Man, still do! You already know the answer to your question, or you would not have brought it here for validation. You have good business sense, so what does your business sense tell you about this problem??? "It's Not Personal, It's Just Business" Ring A Bell???

Michael Tessaro
03-16-2009, 08:13 PM
Jon, You been around the block once or twice? That was great.

Douglas Hicks
03-18-2009, 12:56 AM
DJ, I have always thought of you as a bright and smart Business Man, still do! You already know the answer to your question, or you would not have brought it here for validation. You have good business sense, so what does your business sense tell you about this problem??? "It's Not Personal, It's Just Business" Ring A Bell???


Are you suggesting Scrappy just rent a wife? That is what I did, for 20 years. Of course, I thought we had a partnership, but I was wrong. I then found what I was renting, she was giiving away!

John Tornabene
03-18-2009, 01:54 AM
Dump the chick and Marry the business:headshakesmile-fast If you truelly love the broad then work out with her what works best for you two and if she gives you any lip put her behind the wand:got-hooligan:

DJ Carroll
03-18-2009, 06:31 AM
Wow john i wouldn't refer to the girl that I love with all my heart a broad lol . . . . We had a long talk and I am going to be showing her more attention and we WILL work this thing out!!!


Thanks for all the help guys

Jeff LeCours
03-18-2009, 08:25 AM
Wow john i wouldn't refer to the girl that I love with all my heart a broad lol . . . . We had a long talk and I am going to be showing her more attention and we WILL work this thing out!!!


Thanks for all the help guys


Ohhhhh DJ's in love. Guys our little boy is growing up LOL

Just messin with you DJ. Its cool to be in love. Some love lasts for a little while, some forever. You got plenty of time to figure it out

Andrew McBride
03-18-2009, 01:58 PM
Dj I was in the same boat when I started power washing , My now wife was saying I was spend more time working then with her. Now every thing is good she now see what the work was for

Randyr5150
03-19-2009, 10:37 AM
DJ,
Your girlfriend is looking to spend time with you, (that's what the car ride is for) just to talk. But what she doesn't understand is that this business will be the tool for both of your futures (possibly) and she isn't taking it seriously. So my advice to you would be to go with her on occasion and bring Business cards...
It is all about give and take. You both need to balance work and play.
Also,ask her if you wanted to just pick her up at work/school one day to run errands with you, would she drop her job/class just to ride along with you?
The problem is you are your own boss and that offers flexibility and discipline is key to your success. She needs to take your business more serious if she ever wants the big bling bling on her finger.
My husband and I own a roofing business, (27 years) and a lot of times I would go to the landfill (uhgg) with him so we could chat during the drive.
Take care
Randy's other half
Kim

Terry Miller
03-19-2009, 01:42 PM
How many posts does it take to straighten out a girl problem? LOL

Scott Davis
03-19-2009, 03:28 PM
How many posts does it take to straighten out a girl problem? LOL

Thats assuming you will EVER straighten out a girls problem.....:cool:

Jim Chesmore
03-19-2009, 03:49 PM
How many posts does it take to straighten out a girl problem? LOL

Lets see :lijstje:

by the time you figure out one problem they have already created two more so in the end we never win :cool::willy_nilly::willy_nilly::willy_nilly:

DJ Carroll
03-24-2009, 11:37 PM
well guess i didn't work out . . I told her i was doing everything i could, that i don't have 8 hours a day to give to her and she could either understand that or we can just be friends. . . It's ok though I will be one of if not the most successfull person she know one day and she will wake up and be like dang i really screwed up! I gotta get my head right now . . i really need to focus if im gonna hit 6 figured this year . . . thanks for all the advice though guys! . . OH 9 is still gonna be my beotch!!!!

Scott Davis
03-25-2009, 12:11 AM
I bet your stress level goes down now!!!

Sorry to hear it DJ, but it is what it is.

cmturner
03-25-2009, 10:39 AM
Sorry for the loss but I would say you are right about the looking back thing. Just remember that when she comes crawling back, I don't give those kind of chances, not when you have worked this hard. Reminds me of that Toby Keith Song.

Scott Davis
03-25-2009, 10:50 AM
Sorry for the loss but I would say you are right about the looking back thing. Just remember that when she comes crawling back, I don't give those kind of chances, not when you have worked this hard. Reminds me of that Toby Keith Song.

How do you like me now!!

Jim Chesmore
03-25-2009, 11:05 AM
Good for you DJ!!! Just remember when/if she wants to get back with you she is most likely after your $$$$$$.

DJ Carroll
03-25-2009, 11:37 AM
my new theory :biggrin:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcBggWNXkRU

Mike Cooke
03-25-2009, 11:44 AM
well guess i didn't work out . . I told her i was doing everything i could, that i don't have 8 hours a day to give to her and she could either understand that or we can just be friends. . . It's ok though I will be one of if not the most successfull person she know one day and she will wake up and be like dang i really screwed up! I gotta get my head right now . . i really need to focus if im gonna hit 6 figured this year . . . thanks for all the advice though guys! . . OH 9 is still gonna be my beotch!!!!


don't tell me she left you for Dan!!!LOL

Jim Chesmore
03-25-2009, 12:43 PM
don't tell me she left you for Dan!!!LOL

:Smiley-2020:

oh crap DJ, now everyone know the truth.. LOL