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Girl Friend v.s. Bussiness

Michael Tessaro

Michael Tessaro

New member
DJ, Wow, you are goal oriented and driven for a guy who is just 21. Whats the difference if you were in college full time? You have chosen a different road. IMO, your girl friend is being 20, she is immature and selfish. Its not a fault. Its that you two are in two different worlds. Juggling your responsibilities to your business and relationship are difficult. Try to have a heart to heart with her and ask for her support. See if she shares your same goals and aspirations? I think you already did that after re reading your post.

Relationships, especially with someone you Love or care about greatly are not easy and there is no easy answer. This summer I will be married to the same women for 34 years. Not all good and not all bad. But you absolutely need someone as a mate who will support you and is willing to go with you and along side you. This mutual respect works both ways also. Right now you are going thru the process of choosing a mate. Sounds weird but thats what you are doing in your relationship. She may or may not be the one. You have to decide that.

Someone told me once. "You never regret trying and failing, you regret not trying" . That's just for what its worth.

I wish you success.
 
DJ Carroll

DJ Carroll

New member
centexpw said:
DJ, Wow, you are goal oriented and driven for a guy who is just 21. Whats the difference if you were in college full time? You have chosen a different road. IMO, your girl friend is being 20, she is immature and selfish. Its not a fault. Its that you two are in two different worlds. Juggling your responsibilities to your business and relationship are difficult. Try to have a heart to heart with her and ask for her support. See if she shares your same goals and aspirations? I think you already did that after re reading your post.

Relationships, especially with someone you Love or care about greatly are not easy and there is no easy answer. This summer I will be married to the same women for 34 years. Not all good and not all bad. But you absolutely need someone as a mate who will support you and is willing to go with you and along side you. This mutual respect works both ways also. Right now you are going thru the process of choosing a mate. Sounds weird but thats what you are doing in your relationship. She may or may not be the one. You have to decide that.

Someone told me once. "You never regret trying and failing, you regret not trying" . That's just for what its worth.

I wish you success.
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I do go to school full time along with taking sales classes on top of that . . . I truly am a busy person . . . But I love her and I think I can work this out!!!! Thanks for all the help guys and Jenn haha . . . and no Jeff you can't have her she is mine and as far as Dan is concerned she has read his post and I prolly couldn't even pay her to go with him . . . 2 points DJ :cool:
 
Matt Bryan

Matt Bryan

Donating Member
This girl loves you without the money. In 5 or 10 years the next girl is only going to know the DJ that is flush with cash. Don't think for one second that it doesn't make a difference.
 
Jeff LeCours

Jeff LeCours

New member
EasyPro said:
I do go to school full time along with taking sales classes on top of that . . . I truly am a busy person . . . But I love her and I think I can work this out!!!! Thanks for all the help guys and Jenn haha . . . and no Jeff you can't have her she is mine and as far as Dan is concerned she has read his post and I prolly couldn't even pay her to go with him . . . 2 points DJ :cool:
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Nah I love my Lisa way to much! But Lisa is getting a little old, I told her I might have to turn her in for a newer model LOL:headshakesmile-fast

If you love her and you know for sure she loves you, work on it brother. Only time will tell if its a perfect match.

DJ's in love and i always thought you were a sl*t LOL....Loves a good thing
 
P

plainpainter

New member
I didn't realize this chicks name is Erica, LOL!

D.J. - words of warning, all women whose first name begins with the letter 'E' is Trouble! Erica, Emily, Eliza, Ella, Ellen, Eileen - they're all the same, they'll chew you up and spit you out. You already were a dunce and gave up college ball for her - what idiot does that? Hopefully deep down it's a decision you made for yourself and you are just projecting that decision onto her.

Ok - so you don't think my comments were 'intelligent' - ok here is some commentary perhaps you can stew over. When I was 35 and dating this 29 yr. old woman - she was just turning 30 - had her Masters in Education and was a teacher in a middle school that just got her salary bumped to 55k. She worked with these under privleged kids - doing after school activities with them - ran youth centers. By any definition of the word, responsible, this woman fulfilled it in every way.

Yet when I was dating her - I soon realized she loved going to her friends all the time - and the boozing never ended. It was always partying on the weekends and going to bars all the time - I couldn't keep up. And I got into the same exact fights that you pretty much detailed. And on the other side of the coin - this chick because she didn't see me 'work' during the winter months, although I was working on my marketing and website night and day, wanted me to take on 1 and 2 part time jobs until the season started back up.

She couldn't understand the nature of what running a business meant. To her running a business was 9 to 5 and that's it. She couldn't wrap her mind around that me working on Accel databases during the winter months and doing illustrations for logos was useful in any way. All she wanted me to do was make alot of money. And don't even bring up 'gross' profits vs. salary. I have never met a woman that could understand why my gross profits wasn't my salary - nor did they understand in investing for future gains. Business makes absolutely no sense.

The deal is D.J. - these guys will tell you that your girlfriend is immature and that's because of her age. The fact is - I would be willing to bet 80% of the women out there, unless they are business women themselves - will never understand what you do, no matter what age they are. I thought I snagged a professional woman - and realized after a while what she did was 'important' - but obviously nothing I did was.
Most women I meet are't willing to understand anyone that doesn't do anything other than a regular 40 hour work week - and be prepared to be grossing 150k salary as well!

Just to go to lay it on the line, D.J. - tell her the way it is, and be prepared to get dumped. You go to school, you work on your business, so you don't have to be confined to a limiting desk job. And just realize that ain't cool with most chicks - you'll eventually find one that is cool with it. Or you'll eventually be making tons of money - and have operational managers - 36 years old - and you got some 21 yr. old honey that you are sugar daddy'ing.

I've met very few women that were supportive of their husbands business. And what's funnier - I know a lot of women who have their own business, and weren't supportive of their husbands when they wanted a business!
 
Scott Millen

Scott Millen

New member
DJ, Matt is on the right track.

As a young man, I was always working and hustling for bucks. At the same time I was traveling and doing work that was more of a service to my fellow man kind of thing. I wasn't around my town a lot, and I was constantly in a state of poor repair, but I was always flush, so I had a lot of girlfriends. Most of the time one I considered my girlfriend, and others i just considered.

It was a good time, and I can't take it back, nor would I.

Then I turned around and I was 33 and single, and scarred, and sick and tired, but mostly bored. I smoked 3 to 4 packs of Marlboros and Camels a day, I was sick of the women I was meeting, and the ones I knew well...
Well they weren't going to make the same mistake twice, or three times anyway. Definately not four times...

The upshot was that when the times got rough, I had friends, but the good women were long gone, married or just smarter than that.

I was blessed by a lightning-bolt of good luck after a run of bad decisions, and met Tricia, now my wife. I thank God for her, but have to admit, I would not have sought her out in my youth. She is indispensible in my life, and in my business.

The point here is that if you really know you want to stay with this girl, and have a family, you have to commit in the same way you have to your business.

Why?

Because a marriage and a family, is a business. Romance is an important part, but more important is knowing you have made a good choice for the partner you have gone into business with.

If you don't think that is something you can handle with this girl, don't fool either of you: You need to move on so you don't waste your time together.

Only two things can happen: 1. You spend the rest of your lives together. 2. You don't.

You need to decide what you want, and then take the required steps to secure it. It is business.

Just my opinion, DJ. You'll figure it out.
 
Ron Musgraves

Ron Musgraves

Past President
Staff member
plainpainter said:
You're 21 D.J. - this is a no-brainer - you take yourself way too seriously. The way your off from the starting gate, you'll be a millionaire by the time you are 25.

I'll tell you what {and please no private pm's detailing how you will twist my head off}
I'll give you my tandem axle 7x12 trailer - the astrovan with the 7 -prong wiring and brake controller equipped to tow it. I'll give you the 13hp honda direct drive machine that's on it and the 5.5gpm pressure pro machine along with hose reels and buffer tank. I'll throw in the extend-awand and all the miscellaneous hardware. And then to boot - I'll throw in a 20ft louisville type 1 ladder, a 24 ft werner type 1A ladder, 2 28ft type 1A lynn ladders, a 40 foot louisville type 1A ladder, and a werver 48 foot type 1A ladder. Not to mention the pump jacks, the aluminum werner taskmaster planks, the broncos.

D.J. - I'll give you everything in my business, it's all yours - lock stock and barrel. In return I'll take that cute little strawberry blonde girl you are complaining about off your hands - we have a deal?

Just think D.J. - that's enough equipment to get another 'crew' busy doing work - enough ladders to keep a bunch of guys doing gutter cleanings and roof washings all day long - translation $$$$$$$$$. I'll take the girl in exchange.
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I would say if he's not wanting to spend time with her I would take this offer.

I pick the wife over business anytime. Always!!!!!!!

I'm not given anyone the biz, I'll keep both and put her ahead of the BIz everytime.
 
Chris Tharpe

Chris Tharpe

New member
DJ, this is something that will take alot out of you. My wife and I have been married for just over a year now. I have spent the last 3 months working nights and she is working days. From sunday night to friday evening I see her when either when she is getting home from work and the gym for about 5 minutes before heading out to work or for about 10 minutes before she leaves and I hit the sack. The commercial side of this business can truly be a test to any relationship especially when one side is upset with the priorities in your life.

Take your time with her and decide what YOU want. Take a day and just think about it, do you really want to spend the rest of your life with her?

I wasted 6 years of my life with one and met my wife about a year after her. At that instant I knew we would be good partners and make a great team. Relationships are just like business and take alot of time and devotion for success. If you devote too little time then things start to go crazy and if you devote all of your time you get sick of being around it. The point is look at your relationship with her and really think long and hard about weather you want to spend the rest of your life with this being a problem or can you 2 overcome this and be stronger after it. Another option is to incorporate her into your business and see if she can aid in generating more income while still making enough weekly to cover the extra salary. This could be a great way to see how well you two can work side by side and also to test the relationship.

All in all good luck with this one and you are the only one that gets to decide the fate of this. Remember that what your Momma says generally turns out to be true especially in relationships. So if you really need the truth talk to her and get her honest opinion about the girl and the relationship. I wish I would have only herd what people truly thought before I met my wife. I would have not wasted all 6 years
 
Roger Gothorp

Roger Gothorp

New member
Re: From a chicks point of view

Gulf Coast Power Washing said:
Ok, this is the point where I would normally say 'give the girl a chance'....
BUT

I am a business woman and this is your business we are talking about.
DJ- you are way to intelligent....
It does not seem like your girlfriend shares your same entrepreneurial drive. Have you tried to involve her in the business? Maybe let her do some marketing for you? Does she even know how hard you work or does she just stuck on the fact that you are not home right when she wants you to be?

I am not going to give you the whole spill about her being way to young because I was there once, and I hated when people told us that. Eric was 22 when we got married and I was 19.
Do I think we made a mistake? Absolutely not but I made DAMN sure that we felt the same way about many different things in life including business before we took the plunge.

What I am saying is that if your girlfriend cannot support you in your business endeavors then its time to move on.

You asked for advice, so we are giving it to you but I think you already know what you need to do :)

~Jen
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+1

Tell her if she can't be supportive of the business, then she's part of a problem you don't need. Unless of course, she comes with lots of money and you're happy being a boy-toy.
 
J

Jfife

New member
Tough deal Scrappy. I may not be the most experienced poon handler in the world, but I'll give you a thought or two.

1) Life is all consequences; any decision you make will likely have good AND bad consequences.....you weigh them to make a decision.

2) For finances and peace of mind, you'd be well served to not get married until you are 30 or so. And the difference in maturity between 23 and 30 is vast.

3) The consequence is, 95% of the prime tail will be taken by then...maybe more. The ones left will have one or more of these pieces of baggage: a) divorced, b) kid(s), c) financial problems, d) psycosis.

4) So you: a) search hard, b) marry much younger, c) support overseas arrangements. Again, any decision will have consequences.

5) If this isn't appealing, then you need to settle for the typical southern/mid-U.S. timetable and get married by the time you are 23, 24, 25. Again, consequences will be a young selfish wife and no money. At this age, chance of marrying a really nice, decent girl that isn't controlling, etc. is probably 1 in 3, maybe even 1 in 5. I come by those statistics by thinking of how many of my married friends I am envious of. Very, very few. But you should be able to marry hot.


Being as straight-up as possible, those are your choices. Lastly, let me say this: if this broad is a really, really good catch---you'll have outside sources telling your this. And no, not old perverts like me or Kreisle. Guys your age will say, "dang scrappy, you are lucky. She is nice, not obnoxious, patient, etc......I wish I was going to marry her." If your friends aren't telling you that she'd be an awesome wife----that means they DON'T THINK she'd be an awesome wife. Same goes for your mom AND your dad. Your dad has probably been pestered and nagged for nearly 30 years; he'll have a keen eye and unique insight into this sort of thing.
 
Scott Davis

Scott Davis

New member
Jfife said:
Tough deal Scrappy. I may not be the most experienced poon handler in the world, but I'll give you a thought or two.

1) Life is all consequences; any decision you make will likely have good AND bad consequences.....you weigh them to make a decision.

2) For finances and peace of mind, you'd be well served to not get married until you are 30 or so. And the difference in maturity between 23 and 30 is vast.

3) The consequence is, 95% of the prime tail will be taken by then...maybe more. The ones left will have one or more of these pieces of baggage: a) divorced, b) kid(s), c) financial problems, d) psycosis.

4) So you: a) search hard, b) marry much younger, c) support overseas arrangements. Again, any decision will have consequences.

5) If this isn't appealing, then you need to settle for the typical southern/mid-U.S. timetable and get married by the time you are 23, 24, 25. Again, consequences will be a young selfish wife and no money. At this age, chance of marrying a really nice, decent girl that isn't controlling, etc. is probably 1 in 3, maybe even 1 in 5. I come by those statistics by thinking of how many of my married friends I am envious of. Very, very few. But you should be able to marry hot.


Being as straight-up as possible, those are your choices. Lastly, let me say this: if this broad is a really, really good catch---you'll have outside sources telling your this. And no, not old perverts like me or Kreisle. Guys your age will say, "dang scrappy, you are lucky. She is nice, not obnoxious, patient, etc......I wish I was going to marry her." If your friends aren't telling you that she'd be an awesome wife----that means they DON'T THINK she'd be an awesome wife. Same goes for your mom AND your dad. Your dad has probably been pestered and nagged for nearly 30 years; he'll have a keen eye and unique insight into this sort of thing.
Click to expand...

I got to give it to you Jon, that was the most entertaining answer so far!
 
Guy Blackmon

Guy Blackmon

New member
DJ, I have always thought of you as a bright and smart Business Man, still do! You already know the answer to your question, or you would not have brought it here for validation. You have good business sense, so what does your business sense tell you about this problem??? "It's Not Personal, It's Just Business" Ring A Bell???
 
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