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Girl Friend v.s. Bussiness

DJ Carroll

New member
Guys I have a problem my girl friend has brought it to my attention that I'm not the same as i use to be and that I seem selfish. She says that it seems all i worry about any more is financial stuff and business . . She doesn't understand that right now is the most critical time for my business that means 9 and 10 hour work days . . . she thinks if she comes over a 2 pm and wants me to just ride to the bank with her im supposed to ??? I don't know what to tell her guys . . I need some help here?

It's like no matter what i do i can't make her happy . . . I NEED HELP BIG TIME !!!!!
 

Florin Nutu

New member
Guys I have a problem my girl friend has brought it to my attention that I'm not the same as i use to be and that I seem selfish. She says that it seems all i worry about any more is financial stuff and business . . She doesn't understand that right now is the most critical time for my business that means 9 and 10 hour work days . . . she thinks if she comes over a 2 pm and wants me to just ride to the bank with her im supposed to ??? I don't know what to tell her guys . . I need some help here?

It's like no matter what i do i can't make her happy . . . I NEED HELP BIG TIME !!!!!

Im not telling you what you should do but here is what I did. I divorced my at the time wife for some of those reasons.. My fiance now, Amy, she is the one that pushes me out the door most of the time to build the biz.
 

plainpainter

New member
You're 21 D.J. - this is a no-brainer - you take yourself way too seriously. The way your off from the starting gate, you'll be a millionaire by the time you are 25.

I'll tell you what {and please no private pm's detailing how you will twist my head off}
I'll give you my tandem axle 7x12 trailer - the astrovan with the 7 -prong wiring and brake controller equipped to tow it. I'll give you the 13hp honda direct drive machine that's on it and the 5.5gpm pressure pro machine along with hose reels and buffer tank. I'll throw in the extend-awand and all the miscellaneous hardware. And then to boot - I'll throw in a 20ft louisville type 1 ladder, a 24 ft werner type 1A ladder, 2 28ft type 1A lynn ladders, a 40 foot louisville type 1A ladder, and a werver 48 foot type 1A ladder. Not to mention the pump jacks, the aluminum werner taskmaster planks, the broncos.

D.J. - I'll give you everything in my business, it's all yours - lock stock and barrel. In return I'll take that cute little strawberry blonde girl you are complaining about off your hands - we have a deal?

Just think D.J. - that's enough equipment to get another 'crew' busy doing work - enough ladders to keep a bunch of guys doing gutter cleanings and roof washings all day long - translation $$$$$$$$$. I'll take the girl in exchange.
 

Henry Bockman

New member
I heard a comedian say one time. No matter how fine looking, how much fun she is in and out of bed, there's always some other guy out there that's sick and tired of her complaining!

Finding a balance between running a company and living a life is a fine balancing act. I wish you luck DJ, I still haven't been able to find that balance! I'm working on it though!
 

topcoat

Contributing Member
You're 21 D.J. - this is a no-brainer - you take yourself way too seriously. The way your off from the starting gate, you'll be a millionaire by the time you are 25.
Dan

I dont know if you have done much hiring lately, but its hard to find a 20-28 year old person in the trades with an ounce of ambition. I would not discourage this. And I probably wouldnt be so condescending to DJ. I know you consider yourself an elder statesman of the trades. Your knowledge and presence on the boards is impressive, and your list of equipment is topnotch, seems you are coming up a bit short in accomplishment and projecting it on DJ.
 

Jim Chesmore

New member
WOW, take Dans offer but make sure you get the stuff before she meets him...

DJ - Life is too short to spend it with someone that causes you pain. TRUST ME on this... If you focus on your work, sooner or later the right woman will come your way and she will understand and support you
 

topcoat

Contributing Member
Its smart to build the business now, before you get married, have the kids, dog, house etc...all the encumbrances.
 

plainpainter

New member
Dan

Your knowledge and presence on the boards is impressive, and your list of equipment is topnotch, seems you are coming up a bit short in accomplishment and projecting it on DJ.
Scott - I am at a point in my life where I don't really care that much anymore. I am just happy I am in good health - folks are in good health - sister, nephews and niece.

As for projecting onto DJ - I'll project everything I own onto him - and he can put it to better use - I'll take the little honey bunny. Hopefully she likes a little of this....:got-hooligan:
 

Eric Flynn

New member
From a chicks point of view

Ok, this is the point where I would normally say 'give the girl a chance'....
BUT

I am a business woman and this is your business we are talking about.
DJ- you are way to intelligent....
It does not seem like your girlfriend shares your same entrepreneurial drive. Have you tried to involve her in the business? Maybe let her do some marketing for you? Does she even know how hard you work or does she just stuck on the fact that you are not home right when she wants you to be?

I am not going to give you the whole spill about her being way to young because I was there once, and I hated when people told us that. Eric was 22 when we got married and I was 19.
Do I think we made a mistake? Absolutely not but I made DAMN sure that we felt the same way about many different things in life including business before we took the plunge.

What I am saying is that if your girlfriend cannot support you in your business endeavors then its time to move on.

You asked for advice, so we are giving it to you but I think you already know what you need to do :)

~Jen
 

Mathew Johnson

New member
DJ,

I wish you luck with this. It is a crappy position to be in no doubt. I wish I had advice to give you, but when it comes to advice on stuff like this, I am no "Doctor Ruth - AKA Plainpainter". Good luck Bro.

Dan.... ' I will trade you my blond (yellow) lab for your equipment... She is a cutie". Wait a minute, my wife just read what I wrote.... cancel that offer.
 

CWheeler

New member
Dj I'm not sure if you see yourself having a future with her or not, if you do she needs to share your vision with you. If she doesn't now she probably won't in the future. Like suggested before try get her involved in what you are doing so she has an idea of what it is you are dealing with. Try and set some time aside to talk to her about what your doing. Also your are still young don't stress on the little things you only live once, everything will work itself out in the end.
 

plainpainter

New member
DJ - there are tons of fish in the sea. You're gonna have another 32 girlfriends before you ever tie the knot. Get over yourself - plug away with your business - if she doesn't like it - look forward to the next little hottie coming down the pike. BTW - be sure to send her my way.
 

Jeff LeCours

New member
Dj I'm not sure if you see yourself having a future with her or not, if you do she needs to share your vision with you. If she doesn't now she probably won't in the future. Like suggested before try get her involved in what you are doing so she has an idea of what it is you are dealing with. Try and set some time aside to talk to her about what your doing. Also your are still young don't stress on the little things you only live once, everything will work itself out in the end.

I pretty much agree with the above


Do you like her or love her? If you really want her to be part of your life, you explain and explain and explain. I would just explain to her 2, 3, 4 maybe 5 times about what you want in life in a biz and thats its very important to you that you build this biz while you are young so that later in life you can have everything you want for you and your family that you will build with the right women

If she's just the puppy love stuff and you think you probably wont be with her in 6 months to 2 years just tell her your plans and if she's ok with it, if not oh well, you will break up

I usually would say slow down and smell the roses and give her a little more time, but I cant say that. Man how I wish I was your age starting my biz
I met my wife in 2000, she was 21, I was 39, we dated and in a couple years we were married, but I already saw by that time my biz growing. I was worried because of her age shemight want all that QUALITY TIME but I also knew my biz needed that quality time too LOL. I was very honest from the beginning with her. that the BIZ will need to grow and I knew I could grow it. I lso told her, she cant be ****ing and moaning about what I do for the biz, time spent building it. I mapped out to her, long days and tired nights probably, time away from her and even when we had kids, time away from the kids. I also used my older age and I told her, I have to make and grow this biz so we can have what we need and want in life

I then asked her is she in or out. These conversations were brought up by me often, because I wanted her to know how serious business is and whats involved SACRIFICE. I tell you how I mapped it out to Lisa, because if you honestly explain what you want and need to do, to be a success in biz and with her she will either understand or not. If she doesnt or says she does and just goes back to complaining, its time to move on

Heck DJ you are young love em and leave em until you find the right one, it took me 40 years to find the right one..part of that was because I was a darn mad man for years. If she's right you two will work it out if not you'll be playing in another sand box in no time

Good luck
 

Terry Miller

New member
DJ,
I probably don't see the same as some here, but here it is anyway.
Women are one of the most important parts of our lives. They can make or break us. We are whimps when it comes to faceing that fact. Of course some will say I rule the nest and the women is mine to do with as I please. Don't believe it. When the divorce comes through we pay, children or not. They can make your business the very best or worst. The pressure they will put on you determins how you will succeed. If they want success you will get it. If not, no matter how much you try, you will not succeed. Therefore: Find the right women to be part of your life, that has the same goals you have. Keep looking for the right one. They will all say they want your business to grow, and will make you believe it. If they were only saying that to apease you, you will soon find this out. At your age, I would also agree as others have said, you may be trying too hard. You may be a millionair at 30, or dead from trying. Is it worth it? I couldn't tell you, only you will figure this out. I believe having $ and being wealthy is not the answer to life. I personally would rather have a great family life then tons of $. Ask the folks who worked all their life and put their $ in the stock market! They might have something to tell you. They have very little to show for what they have done. Ask Mr. Madoff if he cares about the millions of people he hurt. My point is money goes away. Kind of like the 85 yr. old, 9 richest person in the world. He just commited suicide because he lost half of his money. It made him the 15th richest person in the world! Family is forever. Maybe if your girlfriend is not happy with you, find someone who is. Keep in mind, the people who are in your life are more important then anything you will ever accomplish. If you don't feel this way, I'd stay single, work as hard as you can and become wealthy. Put your $ into something that will make you Happy. Good Luck, My 2 cents. Thank you.
 

DJ Carroll

New member
To the ones that have made intelligent comments THANK YOU they truly do help!

And Jenn thank you personally I was hopping you would give me a female out look on this!

Erica and I have dated on and off since my Jr. year I truly do love her and we have talked a lot about being together in the future. She has helped me several time in my business; such as riding with me thru those cold nights plowing snow and also helping me stuff envelopes. I talked with her tonight and she said that she felt like she was 2nd to my business and all i'm ever worried about is money and how my business is doing. I apologized and explained that I am an entrepreneur and that this is not just a job it is a pasion of mine. She explained that she understood that but when it involves me working past 6 or 7 o clock at night and taking time away from here then it isn't going to work. Another big problem is she is a waitress and has no real responsibilities. She stays out to 2 3 4 sometimes 5 oclock in the morning hanging out and partying with her friends. I can't fault her for that she is 20. And i never say a thing to her about it but she in turn wants to through it in my face that i never want to hang out and party with her. I told her Monday thru Friday is my companies time if it would help for me to only work from 6 to 5 then i can do that but in those hours monday thru friday my company is priority number one . . . WOW BUDDY WRONG THING TO SAY!!!!! "see your business is number one on your list" I tried to explain to her that it is CRUTIAL for me to bust my A$$ right now so that when I'm 30 years old I will be pretty much set and we can go on cruzes or trips or what ever and spend as much time as she wants. . . She said i don't care how much money you make and she said I understand you want to be successfull and you know i support you but I need more from you I feel that I give you all of me and I only get 1/3 in return . . . I said well baby I devote alot of my time for my business. . .WRONG AGAIN!!!! she blew up and i said i was sorry and would fix things . . . we had a VERY quiet dinner and now im on my way to bed at my house ALONE . lol . . . I dunno what to do I think I'm just going to play it by ear . . .It also doesn't help that she has ALL of her guy and girl friends telling her i'm selfish because all i care about is my business . . .SOOOO SOORRRRYY I DON'T GO THRU 4 CASES A BEER A WEEK AND PARTY EVERY NIGHT!!!!


Maybe i am to hard on my self but I WANT TO BE SUCCESSFULL . .. I guess im just scared i'm going to take away from my business for a girl that may possible not be there for me in the end and I don't want to miss out being successful for some girl . . . The same girl that I passed up going to play College Football for!!!!

I dunno I'm gonna have to sleep on this one!!!! Thanks for the help guys
 

Scott Davis

New member
If you dont absolutely know you want to spend the rest of your life with her, it wouldnt be worth giving up the business. If you do believe that you want to spend the rest of your life with her, no amount of money would be worth losing her. If Celeste told me right now that I had an ultimatum, her or the business, Id be on the next plane home and the business would be dissolved within hours.

The difference is she is running the business now, while im in Iraq. Talk about dedication. She wants what I want, and we have a great life/relationship because of it. Dont let anybody change you.

Now, there have to be concessions. It cant be my way or the highway. You do have to realize that that she has needs and wants also, and maybe take that trip to the bank with her sometimes, just work a longer day. Suprise her with a trip somewhere, but make it known the only reason you could afford the trip and take the time off is because you are self employed and work hard.

If she absolutely says, me or the business, Id have to say take the business. If you were sure you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her you wouldnt have posted this.
 
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